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(In)frequently Asked Shipping Questions

Updated: Jan 5, 2023

Back to reality? Nope. Let’s Have One More Day of Fun…

Holiday season is coming to a close. Eggnog has stopped flowing. All that’s left of the Maltesers are the empty wrappers. Decorations are coming down and you have that sinking “back to reality” feeling.

It’s almost time to start living by a calendar and not in that weird space between Christmas and new year. You know - that time where no one really knows what day it is.

But at we say… no. Let’s have one more day. One more day of fun, before we get back to the serious stuff of running a small business.

So, let's ease back into reality together. Here are 5 bizarre questions no one has ever asked about shipping.

5 Shipping Questions Nobody Has Ever Asked Before (Except Maybe #1)

1. Can I ship my partner to the other end of the country if they’ve annoyed me?

Did they eat the last of the Christmas chocolate? The chocolate that was very clearly yours! Maybe they forgot to do the dishes for the 3rd time in 3 days?

Whatever the reason, it’s probably still not fair to ship them off elsewhere. You could always try talking about it first, but we’re no relationship experts. 😉

If you’ve tried and the dishes remained unwashed, go with UPS. UPS are the better option for handling larger packages.

Oh, and make sure you use to buy the label - you’ll get up to 77% off. That’s going to be really handy when you’re shipping - um - a… large package.

2. Did’s CEO Joe really win a box stacking contest in a coliseum to win the best UPS and USPS shipping rates?

This is how Joe actually likes to think it happened. But in reality, he just started a really good shipping company that’s now shipped over 20 million packages.

We keep telling him that this is the story and it’s more than good enough. However, Joe prefers to cling to his version of events. So we let him have it.

If you bump into Joe on the street and he tells you this story… do two things. Smile and politely nod. Then, throw in the occasional:

“Wow. That’s awesome!”.

Oh, Joe!

3. Can I ship my friend some toast (#ToastInThePost)?

Um, yes and no. Here’s why.

You can ship your friend toast. Absolutely. You can butter it up or throw a little PB on. Whatever your style is. Wrap it up in eco-friendly shipping materials. You know, just so you’re not being entirely wasteful.


What your friend will receive will most definitely not be “toast”. It will be stale, hard, and cold bread with a little peanut butter on. Toast is also delicate. So, it’s probably going to get damaged in transit.

And I’m pretty sure your shipping insurance won't cover you for that.

Unless your friend wants stale and smashed bread in the post, I’d wait until the next time they come over.

4. Who would win in a foot race - UPS or USPS?

Ok - UPS might have the faster overnight shipping service. But could they beat USPS in a 100m sprint?

It would all depend on the chosen athlete for the event. The aerodynamics of the uniform are pretty much the same. And both UPS and USPS have some pretty strong guys and gals.

However, if each chosen runner had to carry a 70lb box, our bets would be on UPS. Because UPS would nominate Kelly as their runner. And Kelly is the strongest delivery woman we know.

5. Will shipping software speed up the shipping process even for sloths?

Short answer: yes. If a sloth wanted to ship some packages after a 15-18-hour sleep, shipping software would help them do it quicker.

Even if they only do travel a meager 41 yards a day at a VERY slow pace.

In fact, if sloths used the platform, they’d be able to ship a package in just 3-clicks. As well cutting down their shipping time by 90%.

Final Word: Enjoy the Last of The Holidays and Get Excited About What This Year Holds for Your Small Business!

Now - go enjoy what’s left of the holidays. And get excited about what this year holds for your small business! It might be “back to reality” - but there’s always a good reason to get giddy about what lies ahead for your online store.

(Especially if you're a user. You know, because of the heavy UPS & UPS discounts, super quick shipping, home pick-ups and rewards & email tools 😉).

Let this new year be a year of growth and life-balance for you and your business. And if you need help with that - there’s a ton of helpful eCommerce and shipping resources on our blog.

Happy 2023 shippers. Let’s make it a great one!


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