What You Didn’t Know About Ship.com...
Updated: May 17
Now, our Ship.com staff like to practice what we preach. As a result, we don’t work tons of hours. But, of course, there’s a lot of work involved in running the most trusted shipping platform in the world.
So, how do we achieve a rounded work-life balance ourselves? Well, there’s something you didn’t know about Ship.com. And it’s about time we reveal it to you.
Here’s our secret on how Ship.com employees strike the perfect balance between work and play…
The Real Ship.com Staff - Our Pets!
President & COO - Kyle Henzel ❌ / Oakley ✅
Kyle has racked up an impressive 20+ years as a COO. However, for the past 5 years, the captain of the ship (.com) has been Oakley. All staff are required to call him “President Oakley” and give him many strokes. I mean, he deserves it - he works hard.
In fact, as President / COO, he’s been a raging success. Shippers have now sent over 20 million packages as Ship.com. Plus, last year, eCommerce biz owners saved $1.9m. Oakley for POTUS? Absolutely.
Content Writer - Drew White ❌ / Oscar ✅
“It all began when he started lying on my office chair,” Drew tells us.
“The first time, I went for a toilet break. I came back and he was lying there. So, I thought - ah well, I’ll go make a coffee” ...
“When I came back, he was sitting next to the laptop and out of nowhere, 1200 words of a blog post had appeared. I just looked at him stunned".
"I was only gone 5 minutes - that’s more than I write in a day!”
By using Oscar as his ghostwriter (or cat-writer), Drew often pumps out articles at a crazy rate. However, he admits that Oscar can get distracted. So, how does he keep feline friend focused?
"Every time he’s not focused, I rustle a bag of treats. Then, I give him one every 200 words. My wife keeps saying he’s looking a little chunky...”
Marketing Manager - Kathryn Cunningham ❌ / Dexter & Hamilton ✅
Before Kathryn joined Ship.com last year, she was renowned as an experienced marketing guru. Then, in her interview, she told us the truth. That she gets her dog, Dexter, to do most of the work. She thought the gig was up. But we told her she’d fit right in, because we get our pets to do the heavy lifting too!
As you can imagine, being a marketing manager for one of the biggest shipping platforms around can be demanding. So, a few months ago, Kathryn drafted in Hamilton - a cute fuzzball cat and a heck of a content strategist.
To this day, Kathryn’s fiancé thinks she just wanted a companion for Dexter. However, we know the real motive was workload management. And cuddles.
Email Manager - Kenneth Parkja ❌ / Rio the Pomeranian ✅
“Meet the writer behind the world’s biggest brands and top business coaches”.
At least, that's what it says on Ken’s website. But at Ship.com, we all know who the real hero is. The genius behind the curtain is actually a Pomeranian called Rio - Ken’s mastermind copywriter and floofy companion.
Ken does do some work at least - as Rio’s “Supervisor”. He used to leave him to it. But one day, a year ago, Rio nearly gave away the game…
“Rio was in a meeting with UPS and they were talking about giving Ship.com users 78% off UPS Ground” Ken remarks.
“I told him to be quiet and let Kyle do the talking. But a UPS employee's dog came on camera in our Zoom meeting"...
"Naturally, he wanted to say hi and barked. The woman from UPS asked if I was ok. Luckily, I turned the mic off in time and typed a message in the chat saying I had an awful cough and had lost my voice.”
“She bought it, and we got the big discount from UPS!”
“Now, I have to stay near and supervise Rio. At least it’s easier than managing our email marketing!”
We all know “supervise” means keeping half an eye on Rio and watching Vikings, Ken.
Chief Integrator - Becky Wood & CEO - Joe Di Sorbo ❌ / Roomba ✅
We often wondered why Becky & “CEO Joe” were jet-setting so much. Like us they didn’t have a pet to do all their work. And if they were always traveling - they couldn’t be doing it themselves? Plus, that would be against the Ship.com work-life balance code! So, who was putting in the hard hours for these two?
That’s when we found out about their robot replacement…
Now, Roomba juggles two high profile jobs, while keeping the DiSorbo house immaculate. Rumor has it that Roomba is also the household chef and regularly cooks gourmet 3-course dinners. Joe and Becky declined to comment.
Conclusion - If You Want Work-life Balance, Get Your Pet to do the Work
Remember the old saying - “If you want something done properly, do it yourself”? Well, here’s a new one for you. If you want work-life balance, get your pet to do your work for you. We do it and we’ve seen some pretty amazing results.
So, go on - give your pet tortoise Sheldon a crack at growing your eCommerce store. What’s the worst that can happen?
Disclaimer: All above pets are given a fair wage according to the Pets That Do Humans’ Work Union. They’re paid via biscuits, treats, tickles, or walkies, as per their demand.